72 – “Sounds like it’s been quite the adventure so far.”

The last two years. Angry, upset. Happy. Really upset and really angry. Ecstatic like crazy. Fucked up. Drunk. Healthy. Wasted. Best shape of my life. Worst. Addict. I spent the summer not working. I had money. I had no money. I had less than no money. I worked. I was bored. Hope was fleeting. I moved in with my parents. I lived on my own. I moved in with a friend. Thank fuck.

I drifted.

I freelanced.

I interviewed.

I’d had everything.

Then everything disappeared.

Then nothing. Nothing for a long time.

“Don’t it always seem to go, that you don’t know what you got til-” Yep.

I waited.

I interviewed at Victoria’s Secret in New York.

I didn’t get it. I designed the best book in the world. Buy it.

I drifted.

I fantasised about taking my life in another direction. Grasping at a new hope. Make a short movie. Bar job. Move to America illegally, fuck it. Homeless. Anything to escape. Open a cafe in Stoke Newington, a shop, a bar, a space. Open one in America. Anything.

Nothing changed.

Time heals everything. Maybe, but time is fucking slow when you don’t want it to be. I mean, it takes two years for two years to go by. Two years is a fucking long time when you don’t want it to be.

I put another ad up on AngelList.co looking for a developer. Just grasping.

Then, a few weeks ago, I get an email.

A guy called Desmond. An iOS developer.

“Sounds like it’s been quite the adventure so far.” he says, “I’ve been looking for a designer to partner up with for a while. You seem talented and driven so I’m definitely interested.”

We discuss ideas. I bring Paul into the conversation. We chat about building a product. We chat about starting an agency. We chat about Story.

Story’s dead. Its moment passed us.

Paul has a small idea he’s been playing around with. We talk about that. We start working.

First time in two years, I have hope. Desmond, Paul and me.

We’re starting again. Something small at first. Really small. 42mm to be exact.

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