54 – The continuing adventures of me and Ashton Kutcher


My brain hurts and my eyes sting and that’s when I see it. I’m staring at twitter and see the tweet by a guy called Shak. It’s Friday afternoon and I’m hungover. I’m at work, not working and my boss is mad at me.

Shak is heavily involved with Spotify and Path and a load of other stuff. I also heard he helps manage Ashton Kutcher’s business in the UK. He’s a big player. You know he’s a big player because all the people he talks with on twitter have names like ‘@joe’ or ‘@mike’. You know, the people that were there from the start. I’ve tried to contact Shak before with no luck.

“A friend needs a professional headshot picture by Monday in London, lands in London Sun eve, anyone available to help Monday am ?”

I sit up. My brain does a jolt. I email Gary, my photographer mate who works downstairs. He doesn’t reply within two minutes so I text him. He doesn’t reply to that so I phone him.

“See my email? Can we do it? This guy’s the real deal.”

“Yeah. Who’s it for?”

“Dunno probably Ashton Kutcher.” I hang up.

I reply to Shak’s tweet. “We can help. www.garydidsbury.com

A few minutes later Shak replies, “What’s the best email for you guys?”

“Fucking GOTCHA!” I send him Gary’s email address.

“What’s that?” My boss goes.

“Nothing mate.”

I leave work and, on the way home, get a text off Gary, “He emailed asking for his mate Jimmy but then Jimmy emailed back saying he’s found someone. Bad news.”

I don’t care about photographing his mate. I just wanted his email address and the excuse to email him. I start writing as I walk up to my flat.

“Hi Shak,

Since I put you onto a great photographer could you do me a favour and check out the app I’m developing?

I know I know, but this is worth it, I promise.

Concept video: http://vimeo.com/44785545
Beta on the app store: https://itunes.apple.com/gb/app/story/id588372979?mt=82

We’re after seed round investment and advice and help and allll that.

Hope you’re good,

This is crazy. This guy could offer investment right now. He could introduce me to Ashton Kutcher. He could link me up with a bunch of other people who- DING! I got an email.

It begins, “Love the video…” Holy shit he loves the video. I mean, everyone loves the video, but HE loves the video. I wonder if Ashton Kutcher is going to love the video. I wonder if- “Not really the type of thing I invest in. Sorry. Best of luck. And thanks for the intro. S”


That was a slap in the face.

I read it a couple of times.

“Love the video

Not really the type of thing I invest in. Sorry

Best of luck

And thanks for the intro


That’s how it was formatted.

Oof is all I can think of. I email him back “Oof” and stare into space.

Ding! Another email.


Oh God. What have I done. He doesn’t get what oof means. It means it’s a kick in the balls mate.

“Sorry. Just felt like running into a brick wall!” I reply like a weasel.

Ding! Another one.

“I could have lied and wasted your time otherwise

I look at over 100 things a week, and this is simply an area which is not for me



I am heavily cringing now. I tell Gary what happened.

He goes, “I just got this off him; ‘Love your work. Deffo connect in the future. S.’” he pauses, “I’m in.”

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